Summer Barney

Is this OK? Can I just Use my name? DOes this work?

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Anonymous asked: any back to school advice for us high schoolers?


When I lived in Montana, I heard about a man who was one of those “prep for the end of the world” folks.  He had some money from working on an oil refinery in Alberta (apparently it’s pretty lucrative), and he was able to retire early and start prepping.  The ironic thing about guys like him is that they all think the end of the world will somehow affect them, when in reality no one lives in or cares about Montana.  If you want to prepare for the end of the world in order to have an advantage, maybe pick a nice spot in Florida where you can hang out with the alligators and ride the Disney roller coasters after everyone else is gone.

Anyway, this guy starts building a huge fort in the middle of the forest.  There weren’t any pictures of it, but according to the man’s press release, it’s the size of a couple football fields put together, at least three stories high, and had some basement levels, too.  This thing was huge, with farms, solar panels, a pool, basically anything you would ever need or want after civilization disappears. 

After fifteen years of construction, the complex is finally done, and the guy decides to move in to his new fort.  Five days later, he gets pneumonia and dies.

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People on the street say mean things to me.
Like what?
I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
What do you say back?
I say, “Please, Abraham, I’m not that man.”